STORY 1 - Andrusenko-Yakotiuk Daria
"I don't want to fight. War is not about fighting, war is about love. True patriotism is love. When we decide to fight to protect someone else's life and home...that's love!"
Daria's story cannot be intuit, no matter how adept and understanding of human nature you may be. In her, you see everything and nothing. You see what you want or what you choose to see. And only then, if she decides, does the curtain part.
I compliment her sneakers, adorned with unicorns, and she tells me, laughing, that she likes to give "magical kicks in the butt." We laugh together, and I know that the socks, one blue and the other yellow, have not necessarily a funny story but a profound one. She smiles when I say that. Then we talk a bit about children, and the atmosphere warms with Daria's beautiful laughter, accompanied by Inna, our translator. She says that having her as a mother forced her 10-year-old son, Hlip, to mature faster. They came to Cluj-Napoca together and enjoyed their time here.
"What specifically interests you? Do you want me to tell you about the war or about my life in general?" she asks me later.
"I would like to get to know you, to see through your eyes, as a woman, as a mother, to feel what you feel in these times we live in."
"I'm not the type of person who stands out shouting that I'm a great patriot. I didn't attend demonstrations and marches, I didn't go out during the Maidan protests; I wanted to understand why all those events were happening, whether they were legitimate," Daria tells me, laughing, referring to the years before the invasion. Raised by her grandparents, without feelings of national belonging, she says,
"I remember a day when a censor came to us for a census. When he reached the question about nationality, my grandfather shouted for my grandmother to ask her what to put in the form." After her grandfather's death, she lived in Lviv for 6 years, then returned to Dnipro and married a childhood friend. In 2013, her son Hlip was born.
"Obviously, at that time, all my concerns and energy were directed towards Hlip. But in 2014, I realized that reality was changing as the number of those dying in the war increased. My child was small, I took care of him all day, and the information about this war didn't affect me too much yet. However, the number of wounded arriving in the hospitals in Dnipro kept increasing, and I couldn't overlook that. Probably, if I had lived in Kyiv, it would have been different, but I was there, nearby, and I couldn't ignore what was happening." Together with a group of women, they mobilized, wanting to help the fighters, so they formed volunteer associations that collected and distributed material aid.
When the issue of transportation arose, she would put her son in the car seat, and they would go together to deliver aid to conflict zones, even though she had recently obtained her driver's license. "In the Donetsk region, the newly formed unit had almost nothing. I had been contacted by doctors who told me about that unit, which was supposed to protect the area. When I arrived, I saw the great needs it had. This unit, or rather, who is still alive, is still at war.” She shows me photos that support everything she says. Thin men, but with smiles on their faces. People who gave up their own lives for the sake of others. They were the unknown heroes, those whose hearts burned with immense love. Slowly, her life became intertwined with the lives of those in the trenches. "The battalion grew, so did my involvement. And I wasn't just helping them, but I ended up supporting more groups. The distances I traveled, twice a week, were considerable. I did the math, and by 2017, it was as if I had circled the earth several times. So, I saw the world!" Daria laughs.
"With the formation of Unit 43, I met Liosha. It wasn't love at first sight. Not at all!" A new story began to be written, a story that culminated in a fireworks display of military ammunition on the New Year's Eve between 2014 and 2015. The most romantic fireworks, specially organized for her, the woman who only thought of others. From then on, they embarked on a new path, alongside the fearless man who knew how to appreciate her and make her feel loved. "From that moment on, we were inseparable."
By 2016, she was already involved full-time, not only in equipping units but also on the bureaucratic side, so the time came when she officially joined the army. Especially thinking about the benefits her son could have in case something happened to her.
In November 2020, Daria and Liosha decided to leave military life and change their story. They had managed, with difficulty, to adapt to the new life, step by step, until one February morning in 2022, at 5 o'clock, they received a phone call: "Hello! The war has started!" That's when Liosha rejoined his former brigade, and Daria started working in a recruitment center after checking online groups where calls for volunteers were made. "I stayed in the mobilization center for a week without going home. I collected and distributed aid, took care of documents." Daria's story flows calmly until the next fiery moment in her life. "Oddly enough, the news of my husband's death caught me in bed on April 19, 2022. Opening my eyes, I saw my friends above me and realized that the night before had not been a dream. And that Liosha really is no longer with me. I received his body a few days later. After the funeral, I resigned from the army and decided not to return home. I took my things and came to Romania to my son."
Hlip, her son, was in Bucharest because they had sent him with a group of relatives and friends. "I don't remember much from that period. I cried for three months. I don't even know how all that time passed." In September 2022, she sent her son with a friend to Poland, but then she had to bring him back to Ukraine. "That's when I learned to be a mother again, to get involved in his life and activities." I sit in front of a serene woman who talks to me about love and death. About life and war. About what she has lived through and continues to live. About the heart-wrenching pain of losing loved ones and the duty to protect others. In many situations, she helped identify the bodies of those killed in battle, drawing on her experience from previous years.
Daria's story is a sad one, but she refuses to be a victim. She speaks warmly, her eyes are full of light. She is one of the thousands of women who have experienced agony and yet chooses stubbornly to look at the bright side of things.
Since October 20, 2023, Daria is serving again in a new military unit. “Like every Ukrainian, I never wanted to fight; we always wanted peace. I fight because I am obligated to defend my country. Demonstrative patriotism drives me crazy. War is not about fighting; war is about love. The war gave me the one I loved... It's all about love. We Ukrainians are full of love; we love the beauty around us, but we have to fight to protect it. It's such a paradox!"
"True patriotism is love. When we decided to fight to protect someone else's life and home... that's love!"
Daria smiles, and I know the light in her eyes will continue to shine.