STORY 9 - Iaroshenko-Sumka Olena
"Right now, 25% of the soldiers whose numbers I have in my phone are no longer alive (...) I am most horrified by the sound of hundreds of flags flying in military cemeteries. They make me think of the fluttering of angels' wings, of slain friends whose funeral I may not even have made it to..."
Olena enters the room with a warm smile on her lips, and I can't help but admire her natural makeup that highlights her features. She exudes confidence, the demeanor of someone who has learned a lot from the lessons life has offered.
"My experience with the war began in 2014. Before that, I had an event agency and organized weddings. After the Russian invasion of Donetsk, Luhansk, and Crimea in 2014, many refugees came to Zaporizhia from those cities. So, together with a friend, we opened a center to help refugees. Within 3 months, 17,000 people passed through our center, receiving assistance,"
she says. Olena's voice is calm and steady, and if I didn't understand what the translator tells me, I could believe that the woman in front of me is talking about a good book or an event she attended. I tried to read between the lines and I discovered, as our meeting unfolded, an extraordinary person who has devoted her time, resources, and practically her entire life to serving those around her. She did all this without making a show of it.
"I had developed a system where the refugee center managed itself; there was no need for volunteers. Those who needed something could easily manage there. This place remained functional until 2018. In September 2014, I went to the front for the first time, in Mariupol. Since then, I have been there more than 120 times and know the area very well. In 2016, I bought a minibus to serve the front line, and we managed to deliver medical equipment, military gear, and other quality items that the soldiers really needed, saving lives."
Olena talks about an important development in her volunteering. In 2015, some soldiers returned on leave and asked for advice on organizing weddings. She realized she could resume her previous occupation, offering them free all inclusive weddings. - including the couple's attire, invitations, photo/video, floral arrangements, food, and cakes. Olena and her team took care of everything.
"We organized big weddings in two cities - in Zaporizhia and Khmelnytskyi, with everything they needed. We also help with weddings organization throughout Ukraine and the front line. We gathered a team of volunteers who offered their services for free - hairstylists, makeup artists, professionals in photography and videography. Women from the area rushed to prepare cakes for the couples, and dresses were donated by brides from all over Ukraine and wedding dress salons.” Olena describes to me an apparently idyllic society, but one that reality threatens at any moment due to the war. She, a practical person, focused on finding solutions for the situations around her, then anticipated the needs coming at the next step. After these weddings, some of the grooms were killed on the front, leaving behind small children and young widows. The next project was to provide them with material support or St. Nicholas Day gifts for the children.
"Before the invasion in 2022, we had 250 beneficiaries of this program in the Zaporizhia region and 250 in Khmelnytskyi. Now we have over 2,000 children aged up to 17 in the two areas. That's not counting children over 17 or widows without children."
She offers soldiers' wives days of small indulgences that delight any woman, saying that they, the ones behind the fighters, deserve to receive care and attention in turn.
"At this moment, 25% of the soldiers whose numbers I have in my phone are no longer alive. The sound that unnerves me the most is the fluttering of hundreds of flags in military cemeteries. It evokes the flapping of angels' wings, reminding me of fallen friends whose funerals I perhaps couldn't even attend..." It's the first time Olena pauses in her storytelling and looks elsewhere. A shadow falls upon her face. But then she smiles and continues. "This war has taken many lives, revealed the true faces of people, but it has also given me something very good: my husband. And it has granted me something priceless: time with my son." She tells me simply that her husband is fighting. "He is the leader of a special unit that is changing the course of this war. Through their actions, they have minimized the loss of human lives among the Ukrainian army and played a decisive role in saving Mariupol in 2014." The fearless and tireless woman herself was frightened by the thought that she might not be able to save her mother from Zaporojie. After much effort and seemingly endless journeys, she succeeded in bringing her to safety.
"My husband was fighting to defend the city of Mykolaiv, and he didn't call me too often. But when he returned from missions, he would tell me they had been in situations and places where it was a miracle they had survived because they were the number one target of the Russians. When he came home, I saw that he had lost 17 kilograms." She recalls with sadness the young soldiers who were killed. "I had a good friend, a young man of 27, who joked that he was married to the army. In him, I saw the future of Ukraine. When he was killed in March of this year (2023), I felt like the future of my country was dying. A young and handsome soldier..."
I try to quickly change the course of the conversation because I wouldn't want to see her overwhelmed by sadness: "In what year did you get married?" I ask. "Officially, we are not married. The first time we wanted to have the wedding, after he proposed, Belarus mobilized its troops near our borders, so he was called there. The second time, the Covid epidemic broke out. The third time - the invasion. So we will have a beautiful wedding after victory. I have the wedding dress ready." She is about to leave the room with a smile, telling me how proud she is of her son, who refused to leave for Belgium to be with his father when the Russians invaded Ukraine. "He could have left the country then, as he was only 17 and a half. 'I won't leave you, and I won't leave my country,' he told me. Now he is a student at Khmelnytskyi National University."
I tell her that I will be very happy when her wedding day comes, and she leaves happily. I sincerely hope to see pictures of her in a wedding dress very soon.
The wedding date is set for April 24, 2024, and I hope that this time nothing will stand in the way of their happiness.